Reclaiming Playfulness as a Midlife Woman

(Because growing up doesn’t mean growing dull!)

Somewhere between paying bills, answering emails, folding laundry, and remembering to drink enough water, many of us misplaced something essential… our playfulness.

Remember her? The one who laughed so hard she snorted, who danced in the rain, who snuck up on a friend to scare them, who colored outside the lines on purpose? She’s still in there. She’s just waiting for permission to come back out.

Midlife isn’t a pause button. It’s a permission slip to rediscover joy. To live fully, freely, and yes, playfully.

When Did We Stop Playing?

As kids, we didn’t “schedule” play. We just… did it. We made mud pies, collected worms, twirled until we fell down, and built worlds out of nothing but imagination and sticks.

Then adulthood arrived, wagging its serious finger. We got busy being responsible, with jobs, caregiving, appointments, expectations and more, and play quietly slipped out the back door.

Research even shows that adults who neglect play report higher stress and lower creativity (Yarnal & Qian, 2011). Basically, life gets dull when we forget to color outside the lines. Booo!

The good news? Playfulness isn’t lost. It’s just hiding behind your to-do list, waiting for you to say, “Come out, come out, wherever you are!” YAAAZ!

Why Play Matters (Even More Now)

Play isn’t child’s stuff. Play is soul fuel.

Play activates the parts of the brain that keep us flexible, curious, and resilient (Panksepp, 2005). It helps us adapt to change, laugh through challenges, and connect deeply with others.

Dr. Stuart Brown, the founder of the National Institute for Play (yes, there is such an organization), says it best:

“The opposite of play isn’t work — it’s depression”, (Brown, 2009).

So when we play, we’re not wasting time. We’re literally recharging our nervous systems, refreshing creativity, and inviting joy back into our cells.

The Sneaky Barriers to Play

Let’s be honest, it can feel weird to play again.

There’s that inner voice whispering, “You’re too old for this,” or “People will think you’ve lost it.”

But those voices? They’re liars. They’re the same ones that said we shouldn’t sing unless we were good, dance unless we were graceful, or paint unless it could hang in a museum.

Science disagrees! Being playful in adulthood leads to better relationships, higher well-being, and even greater romantic satisfaction (Proyer, 2017).

So yes — go ahead and giggle, doodle, dance, or hula-hoop. Your brain, your heart, and your hormones will thank you.

Play Ideas for the Midlife Muse

Play doesn’t have to mean dodgeball (though if you’re into that, go wild!). It can be simple, soulful, and absolutely yours. Try:

🎵 Move like nobody’s watching. Dance to your favorite 80s hit or sway under the moonlight.

🎨 Create without reason. Finger paint, collage, or build something glittery just because it makes you smile.

💃 Drum, hum, or sing. Sound awakens joy and it’s why Restoration Room’s sound baths and drumming circles feel so alive.

🌻 Play in commUNITY. Join circles of women who laugh, cry, create, and connect, like our monthly Know. Flow. Glow. or Delightful Drumming gatherings.

🐚 Say yes to silliness. Wear sparkly socks. Make a funny face contest with your best friend. Blow bubbles in the park. Play fetch with yourself.

Because the truth is — play isn’t childish, it’s vital. It’s medicine disguised as laughter.

Play as Radical Self-Love

Every time we play, we whisper to the universe,

“I am still curious.”
“I am still wild.”
“I am still goofy.”

Reclaiming playfulness in midlife isn’t regression. It’s remembering who we are underneath the lists, titles, and expectations. It’s a sacred act of self-love.

So let’s trade perfection for presence, and seriousness for sparkle. Let’s get back to laughing so hard we can’t breathe, to feeling the sun on our skin, to dancing in the kitchen with no one watching.

Because play isn’t just something we do, it’s who we are when we’re finally free.

References

• Brown, S. (2009). Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul. Avery.

• Panksepp, J. (2005). Affective neuroscience of play: Theoretical and therapeutic perspectives. American Journal of Play, 2(2), 155–165.

• Proyer, R. T. (2017). A new structural model for adult playfulness: Assessing the psychological benefits of being playful. Personality and Individual Differences, 108, 113–122.

• Yarnal, C. M., & Qian, X. (2011). Older-adult playfulness: An innovative construct and measurement for healthy aging research. American Journal of Play, 3(4), 344–366.